Amy LugowskiPresident
Annual Walk Director
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Amy Lugowski first participated with her husband, Craig, in the 2007 A Walk to Remember, after the loss of their twin boys Aiden and Benjamin to TTTS in February of that year. Amy and Craig were introduced to the foundation, as many are, at the hospital during delivery of their twins. A care package with materials to assist with the grieving process was delivered to them by a nurse. It was because of these materials and the people involved in putting them together that Amy became involved in A Walk to Remember.
"Knowing what so many families go through with the loss of a baby(ies), it was imperative that I give back to the community through the education of grief resources, care packages and by the annual memorial walk."
Stacy MerkelVice President
Website Director
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In March 2005, after 7 years of trying to conceive, Stacy and her husband Steve were blessed with a twin pregnancy. “We were expecting fraternal twin boys and were overjoyed at the thought of finally sharing our life with children.” It was a stressful pregnancy, but even after experiencing several twin pregnancy complications, both boys were healthy. Suddenly, at 36 weeks, Twin A went into fetal distress and Stacy was forced to deliver via emergency c-section. They lost their son Jackson, November 4th, 2005, at 5 days old due to complications from an infection that both boys unknowingly contracted in utero. Their other son Bowen had a short stay in the NICU and was able to go home 7 days after birth.
In 2008 Stacy joined A Walk to Remember as the Director of Bereavement Support Services because of a need to help those who are unexpectedly walking the path of infant loss. “By helping others with their grief, I am able to process my own feelings of loss. I am eternally grateful to those who took me under their wing when I needed support and I want to continue to give back and give that support to others. No one should go through this alone”
In January of 2009 the Merkels’ were blessed with a second twin pregnancy. After some complications, Drew and Wyatt were born safely in September of 2009. After serving almost 2 years on the board, Stacy resigned her position to focus on her family.
Drew and Wyatt are now toddlers and Bowen is a thriving 5 year old. And as family life has settled over the last few months, Stacy has been given the opportunity to rejoin A Walk to Remember as the Vice President. “Each and every day, I am overcome by both happiness and grief at each of Bowen’s milestones and accomplishments, knowing that Jack should be there right along with him. As Bowen grows up without his twin brother, I am driven to remember Jackson and to honor my twin sons in every way I can.”
Currently Stacy also participates in the Twin Loss Support Group of Colorado, which is a group founded to support bereaved moms in dealing with the loss of one of their twins or higher order multiples and to help them work through the unique situation of also raising a surviving multiple.
“My hope in working with The Walk to Remember Foundation is that we can provide needed bereavement resources to parents who have recently suffered a loss and to help them find other support and services they might need as they walk this path.”
“To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.”
Chinese Proverb
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I have two beautiful Angels looking over our family, Tracey Ann Vincent and Aidan Patrick Peak. Tracey was born in June 1986 4 months early, in a military hospital which was not equipped to handle a premature baby and weighing less than one pound. Tracey’s chances of survival were zero. At that time, there were little to no resources available to help with a loss of an infant.
My second loss came in 2006. On November 24, 2006 I gave birth to identical twin boys Aidan Patrick Peak and Brandon Arthur Peak. We fought Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome and we won this battle. After the birth of the boys, we were informed that Aidan had Congenital Heart Disease; his heart did not form correctly as he grew in utero. My husband and I listened to the Cardiologist as he explained surgery and the life expectancy for Aidan. My husband and I were in a precarious position. We needed to decide for the best interest of our child of what to do. Within two days Aidan's kidneys and liver started to show fatigue plus he was on oxygen, intubated and tube fed. We realized that Aidan was assisting us in making this horrible decision to let him go into heaven. Both boys were baptized on December 1st and on December 2, 2006, Aidan made his passage and joined his sister Tracey and became our Angel #2.
Our surviving twin Brandon is healthy with some developmental delays and no speech as of yet. We have run a gamut of genetic testing to see if we can pinpoint why and there is nothing on the radar as of yet. We have had and continue to receive wonderful help from the Jefferson County School District, Child Find and DDRC who have helped Brandon and us cope and work with his disabilities. Brandon has 3 older brothers, Wyatt 6, Jacob, 23, and lives in Arizona and Nathan, 26, and lives in Northglenn. Brandon is very much our social butterfly and loves to laugh! Recently the speech therapist has been able to work with Brandon and saying the word "more" which is a huge accomplishment for him and he shows it with the biggest smile you can imagine!
We are continuing to pursue further testing with the Genetics Department at Children’s in hopes that we can find the answer we have been looking for so we as parents, don't feel so helpless! I truly appreciate what A Walk to Remember has done for me as well as so many other families!
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OPEN POSITION
Director of Communications and Marketing
This position is currently open. If you are interested in this position please contact us at info@walktoremember.org
To view this Job Description CLICK HERE
OPEN POSITION
Director of Fundraising
This position is currently open. If you are interested please contact us at info@walktoremember.org
To view this Job Description CLICK HERE
Brandi BradleyDirector of Media and Public Relations
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My name is Brandi Bradley and my husband Jay and I had been married for almost eight years before we tried to get pregnant. We thought that it would just happen at the drop of a hat and never expected to have to go through the diagnosis of infertility. We tried unsuccessfully for almost four years to get pregnant, when in June of 2006, through the help of in vitro, we found out we were having twins!
I got to watch them grow through ultrasound every two weeks and was amazed at their change each visit. At about sixteen weeks, we found out we were having a little boy and a little girl-my life couldn’t be better! We started on the nursery, with the help of our family and poured every ounce of love into it that we had. We could hardly contain ourselves and neither could our friends or family. We immediately started picking out names and the twins were no longer Baby A and Baby B, but they became Michael Cole Bradley and Emerson Riley Bradley. Over the next few months, their personalities really started to show, Cole was the calm, cool, and collected twin and his sister was going to be my wild child. We had four weeks left until our approximate due date and went in for our weekly ultrasound and I found myself very anxious. As the ultrasound tech looked at Cole, I began to relax. He looked great. She then went up to Emerson and very abruptly said something was wrong and that she couldn’t find a heartbeat. In that instant, my life changed forever. They kept trying to find out what had happened and no one had a clue.
We were placed in the hospital for the next four weeks to allow Cole to continue to grow until he was 36 weeks in gestation. I was on a monitor for him 23 hours a day and watched part of my stomach grow and the other part flatten. I was completely devastated, and at the same time trying to be strong for Cole. I was scared to death that I was going to lose him too. I was supposed to be taking birthing classes and getting ready for two babies to come home, instead of was trying to decide whether or not to bury or cremate Emerson. That is something no parent should ever have to decide!
Four long weeks passed and nothing could have prepared me for their birth. Instead of being excited about bringing two babies home, I was preparing for Cole to arrive and at the same time to bury my daughter. About one hour after they were born, we held a memorial in the hospital for Emerson for all of our family and friends. I sat in my wheelchair holding my son and looking at my dead daughter, wondering how my life could have turned out this way!
Over the last year, I have found myself transitioning through the stages of grief. At first I was completely numb, followed be utter sadness, and then came anger. I was in the anger stage for a VERY long time. Angry not only that I lost my daughter, but that I would never be that happy-go-lucky person again. I had to learn to grieve not only the loss of my daughter, but the loss of who I used to be as well. Then I realized that being angry was not going to honor Emerson or allow me to be a good mother to Cole. I have since moved on to acceptance, not that I am not angry or sad most days!!
Our family has been blessed with two more little boys over the last three years. In December of 2008 we welcomed a little boy named Will and in June of 2010 we welcomed another little boy named Jacob. Cole has proven to be quite the exceptional big brother and he talks about his baby sister in heaven all the time. I feel blessed to have these children in my life and know that I have a beautiful daughter in heaven watching over us that I will meet again one day!
I am very passionate about the walk, because I am always trying to find ways to remember Emerson. The walk is one of the most beautiful things I have ever been a part of. It also gives your family members a way to grieve the baby that they lost as well. I am trying to find something positive that will come from losing Emerson, and now I really feel that my job is to help other families get through this process and not to feel alone in their walk with grief!! I am saddened that anyone has to be a part of this, but encouraged that you will find support from the members of this foundation. Be strong and be kind to yourself, this is a journey that we will each experience every day for the rest of our lives.
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Eva Holcomb
Director of Bereavement Care Package Services
In June 2001 my husband, James and I were thrilled to be expecting our first baby on February 2, 2002. This was our first pregnancy and shortly after the devastation of 9/11 we found that we were having a girl. With so much anxiety in the world, we found hope in our daughter. The pregnancy progressed normally until week 32 when I went in for a regular checkup. I had gained 15 pounds in two weeks and my blood pressure was very high. I was sent to Swedish to be monitored then sent home on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy.
On Christmas Eve, we went in for the first of our two weekly routine checkups, the baby’s heartbeat had slowed during our time at the doctor’s office. The doctor decided that we should go in to Swedish to be monitored again just to make sure that everything was ok. From the time we left the doctor’s office to the time we arrived in the room at Swedish, roughly 25 minutes, our baby’s heart had stopped. We were given the devastating news. Our hopes and dreams were crushed in a single moment.
Elysa Mei Holcomb was stillborn early Christmas morning. We had heard of miscarriages and fetal deaths prior to 20 weeks but we knew no others who had experienced what we had just endured. Walk to Remember had not yet been established at that time and we found great comfort in the staff at Swedish and in a care package lovingly donated to Swedish by another couple in honor of their baby girl. We were extremely grateful to have received the items in the care package, including a white dress for our daughter, hand knitted pink booties, a journal and a disposable camera.
We now have two beautiful and healthy children, a 7 year old daughter named Meilee and a 4 year old son named Ian. As we approach our Angel anniversary of 10 years, I look at my children and often wonder what Elysa’s personality would be like. Would she be the princess and drama queen of my daughter or would she be full of compassion and non-stop energy as my son?
I’m excited to join the board as Bereavement Care Package Services Director as I remember how grateful I was at the hospital to have received the care package and to know that my husband and I were not alone in our grief or our experience.
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Courtney FayDirector of Education and Awareness Services
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Following years of fertility treatments, Courtney and her husband, Jeff, were thrilled in March 2007 when they able to become pregnant with twins via in-vitro fertilization. In July they learned they were having fraternal twin boys. Thrilled by the impending birth of their sons, they began taking first time parent classes, preparing a nursery, and reading all the books on raising twins they could find. The morning of August 14, 2007, all those dreams came to a devastating end when Courtney awoke, bleeding. They rushed to their local hospital in Greeley where they learned that Courtney’s cervix had collapsed under the weight of the two boys and that Twin A’s bag of water was slipping through the opening. She was immediately placed on a Flight for Life helicopter bound for Presbyterian/St. Luke’s medical center in Denver.
The doctors at P/SL carefully explained the procedure that they hoped would save both boys, and after determining that there was no developing infection, Courtney was rushed into surgery. She was inverted with her feet up in the air and everyone waited for gravity to do its job.
Twin A’s bag of water slipped back into its proper place and the doctors began to work on an emergency cercalage (a series of stitches that would hold the cervix closed). However, in the process of placing the cercalage, Twin A’s bag of water ruptured, placing him, his brother, and Courtney all at risk for a life threatening infection. The doctors insisted that Courtney proceed with a Delayed Interval Delivery where Twin A would be delivered and the cercalage would be placed before Twin B had the chance to turn and move into position for delivery. Unfortunately, no heroic efforts are taken to save a baby born below 24 weeks, and since Courtney was only 22 weeks and 4 days pregnant, this would mean that Twin A, if born alive, would not be resuscitated when he stopped breathing.
Ian Charles was born at 4:12pm and died peacefully in his father’s arms at 4:50pm.
Courtney was placed on 22 hour a day bed rest for the duration of her pregnancy, which Courtney and Jeff prayed would be as long as possible. Courtney spent 12 weeks on bed rest, 9 of them hospitalized at P/SL.
Connor Andrew was born November 5, 2007. He spent 10 days in the NICU before being allowed to go home with his very excited parents.
Lost and confused, unsure of how to raise her son as a singleton while still honoring the memory of his twin brother, Courtney joined the Twin Loss of Colorado Support Group in February of 2008. She found a wonderful group of moms walking the same difficult path of raising a surviving multiple and also learned about the Walk to Remember.
Courtney is thrilled to participate in the Walk To Remember Foundation as Director of Education and Awareness Services. She decided on Ian’s first birthday that since he was not able to bring meaning and purpose to his own brief life, she would do it for him. Having worked in education for the last 10 years, first for Sylvan Learning Centers and now as a School Counselor, she is confident that working on education programs through the Walk to Remember is a perfect fit! She looks forward to utilizing her education background to bring programs to area hospitals and doctors’ offices that will help ensure all bereaved parents receive the best possible bereavement services.
Courtney enjoys every moment with her beautiful, brilliant, and hilarious son, Connor, but is still emotionally devastated by the unexplainable loss of his twin brother, Ian. She finds herself constantly struck by the “should have been” moments and milestones that Connor will experience alone and not in tandem with Ian. She knows that the pain of losing Ian will never go away, but she also knows that by joining with the other dedicated members of the Walk to Remember Foundation, she will be able to continue to find solace by helping others through the long, dark journey of losing their precious child.
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I lost my daughter, Alexis Rain, on May 4, 2010. She was stillborn, having suffered a cord accident, and losing all of the amniotic fluid protecting her small body. My husband and I have come to characterize our perspective prior to her birthday as blissfully happy, and very naïve. Losing your child is not supposed to happen. Her clothes had already been washed, organized, and put away. The nursery was ship-shape. Daycare arrangements were already set up for our return to work. Bottles were ready to go. The bathroom was stocked with baby towels, and toys. Gifts from my baby shower were stored, or already open, awaiting heavy use. Friends and family waited anxiously to learn the name of our precious daughter.
My contractions started on Monday evening, around 6:00 pm. My husband kept track of the time in-between, and placed calls to the doctor, asking when we should go to the hospital. It wasn’t until midnight when we entered the room. The first nurse looked concerned. She said she needed to get the doctor. The doctor told us that her heartbeat could not be found. An ultrasound later confirmed our loss. Shock set in, and the next eleven hours were a blur of confusion, sadness, and ultimately love and pride, as our daughter was finally in our arms, if only for a few short hours. The nurses clothed her, and took pictures. Her funeral was a week later. I never imagined seeing her name on a grave marker. It made everything so final, so overwhelmingly crushing.
The sun was shining when we returned home from the hospital. I cried when they wheeled me out the front doors, and my husband helped me into the car. Her car seat was in the back and she was supposed to be in it. Returning home to a empty house and empty crib was so painful. I cried literally all the time for five straight weeks. Grief has been a steady reality for several months now. Losing your child means that everything changes, and nothing is what it once was. Finding ways to function can be very difficult at times, but there are always loved ones waiting to lend a helping hand. My husband and I adopted two puppies very soon after losing Alexis. Yoda and Lily have become our best therapy as we attempt to regain purpose, and determination to learn how to be happy again.
Her ashes were placed into two urns, so that we could go on a few trips to help remember her, and encourage others to do the same. Her ashes have been spread in Michigan, with her great-grandmother; in Estes Park within the family cemetery; at Hudson Gardens, where my husband and I were married, and our friends had a tree planted in her honor; and at Cocoa Beach in Florida, where she joined the mighty Atlantic in December.
My husband and I joined a support group less than a month after her birthday, and came to learn of the Walk to Remember through this process. We made a conscious decision to honor Alexis’ memory as often as possible, and I felt compelled to join this organization of amazingly strong families, who persevere everyday moving forward from extraordinary loss and pain. So many people have suffered, as my husband and I have, but so many people have displayed resiliency and passion to help us see that we don’t have to do this alone. I am proud to be Alexis’ mother, and to be associated with families who live to honor their precious angels.
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Lesia RehlDirector of Bereavement Support Services
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My husband John and I were so excited when we finally became pregnant, and ecstatic when we received the news we were expecting twins. An ultrasound revealed I was carrying a boy and a girl, and we nicknamed our babies Aspen and Maui in memory of the places that were significant in our lives. It was an uncomplicated pregnancy until some light spotting led to a doctor's office visit, where it was revealed that I was in premature labor at 23 1/2 weeks. The next 24 hours were a blur as I was transported to a Denver hospital and a high level perinatal care center. Despite their best efforts, the doctors could not stop the labor and I delivered Alexandra Aspen and Evan Maui on March 11, 1994. We held our babies while they took their first and last breaths of life.
No one expects to lose a baby, let alone twins! We felt utterly alone in our heartache and grief. We thought that surely we must be the only parents that have suffered such a devastating loss. It was only after some searching when we found a multiple loss support group that we knew others had faced a similar situation. Through more inquiries, we found a local grief group that provided companionship and understanding. Seventeen years ago, there were no bereavement care packages delivered to parents at hospitals, and there were no resource listings to help parents find comfort, support and empathy. With the multitude of resources available today, online and locally, no family needs to walk the journey of grief alone.
I have been blessed with two healthy pregnancies since the loss of Alexandra and Evan and gave birth to our son, John, in 1995 and our daughter, Dominique, in 1998. Over time, we have learned to live with our loss, but we will never forget our babies. I joined Walk to Remember to honor the memory of Alexandra and Evan and to ensure that bereaved parents find the resources they need in their time of grief.
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