Emerson Riley Bradley

Written and shared by Brandi Bradley at the 2009 Walk
How many times did we have to hear
The diagnosis of infertility rang so clear.

So many tests, shots, and every month so much heartache
I began to wonder if my heart wouldn’t break.

Everyone around us, pregnant so fast
It seemed so unfair; would I have a baby at last?

Then after four years in June of 06 came the day,
All of the grief and heartache went away.

The best phone call we had ever received
Not one but two babies you have conceived!

I felt that all of our prayers had been answered at last
Two babies for all of the waiting, encouragement at last.

14 weeks later an ultrasound would show
A baby boy and a baby girl our hearts would bestow.

Hours and hours spent decorating their nurseries new
One was all pink, the other was blue.

We picked out their names with excitement and love
Some chosen for the living and others for those up above.

At 32 weeks my anxiety was running high
Then an ultrasound revealed you were no longer alive.

I screamed in disbelief, this cannot be right
I should be holding you in my arms four weeks from tonight!

I cried and I screamed and I could barely breathe.
I have waited so long to be a mother, and went through so much grief!!

I will do anything you want, just give her a breath
Her life’s just beginning; it shouldn’t be over just yet.

No matter how much crying or pleading I did
Nothing will change the path I have been given.

From that moment on my life changed forever
The joy that used to fill my heart had surrendered.

I will never get to see the milestones she would achieve
Graduate college, get married, in life succeed.

For weeks and months I lived in a daze
Numb to emotions, living in a haze.

Anger followed by miserable grief
Cursing at God and everyone and finding no relief.

Life shouldn’t move on, I want the world to be sad
I am living without my daughter, I am angry, I am mad.

Until one day, I said enough is enough
Find joy in each day and strength from above.

I lost my daughter and it is a terrible tragedy
But is there a silver lining she would want me to see?

Look around you mom, for you are not alone
There are so many families who have lost babies moving along.

Not knowing how to mourn or grieve their lost loved one
Please don’t let the walk to remember be done.

So I joined the walk board in honor of Emerson
To help others I have never met honor their children.

Now I try and live life to the fullest each day
Living my life with the same prayer that I pray.

Let me help others in this journey of grief
To help them find peace, comfort, and some type of relief.

And to my beautiful Emerson, not a day goes by
That I don’t sit and think about you and often cry.

And on days that are really bad, I know you’re around
Because you send me a rainbow, a ladybug, or a sweet sound.

That helps me get through another rough day again
Until the day we are united together in heaven!